* Make it emotionally safe to bring up difficult subjects.
* Don’t use affection, sex and loving behavior to reward or punish
*Dare to expose your imperfections and fears. This is especially difficult since it conflicts with the need for safety.
*Consider your partner’s desire for greater distance or closeness as expressing a need for comfort-not a personal rejection.
*Listen to each other with openness and curiosity.
* Remember you are on the same team!