If you have ever had a broken heart, you know that the term refers to real physical pain. When we experience heartbreak, the muscles in the chest constrict from the anxiety and heartache. It truly feels like the heart is breaking.
The loss of someone we love is not only losing the loved one, but also the dreams about the life that you planned together. If the two of you had mutual friends, sometimes, there is a loss of friendship. If you shared a home together, it can be the loss of a house or apartment. If you were close to his or her family that can also be a part of the heartache.
Healing from a break up takes time. Even if you are the one to initiate the break up, the pain can still be enormous. The following tips can help you to heal:
A. Let your self grieve. When the feelings come, do not drink or numb them. Crying, feeling anger, sadness, having trouble sleeping, are all normal responses.
B. Reach out to Friends. People understand a broken heart. Most of us have experienced it at sometime in our life.
C. Take time for yourself. Get a massage, haircut, manicure or whatever makes you feel pampered. Go to the gym, take a walk, go to the beach, the point is to focus on you.
D. When you are ready, assess the experience and process what you learned. This may take a few weeks or months. However no matter how bad or wonderful the relationship was, there were things to learn.
E. Accept or plan dates. Do not talk about your ex on the dates. Find out what your date has to offer and simply have a good time.
F. Remember, that healing is a process. It takes time to heal. A broken heart will get better and you will love and be loved again.
Jeannette York, LMFT