Tag Archives: Cheating

What does Co – Dependent Mean in a Love Relationship

The word Co-Dependent gets thrown around quite a bit these days. Often we hear about parents and Adult children in co-dependent relationships. The definition of co-dependence is excessive emotional dependence on another person. The part of the word that is “Co” is that the excessive dependence goes both ways but shows itself in different forms but really two sides of the same coin.

For example, a husband is dictated to by his wife. She demands to know where he is going at all times and where he is at all times. The wife controls the husbands where bouts and controls the money in the relationship. Sounds sad for the husband, right? The Co dependency comes in when the husband begins to ask the wife when and if he can go certain places or he “sneaks out” like a little boy. This couple has entered into a relationship in which the husband on some level is dependent on the wife to manage his life and the wife is emotionally dependent on the husband to behave like a son (child) and not a grown man. In healthy adult relationships, adults do not tell adults what to do.

Breaking Up and A Broken Heart

If you have ever had a broken heart, you know that the term refers to real physical pain. When we experience heartbreak, the muscles in the chest constrict from the anxiety and heartache. It truly feels like the heart is breaking.

The loss of someone we love is not only losing the loved one, but also the dreams about the life that you planned together. If the two of you had mutual friends, sometimes, there is a loss of friendship. If you shared a home together, it can be the loss of a house or apartment. If you were close to his or her family that can also be a part of the heartache.

Healing from a break up takes time. Even if you are the one to initiate the break up, the pain can still be enormous. The following tips can help you to heal:

A. Let your self grieve. When the feelings come, do not drink or numb them. Crying, feeling anger, sadness, having trouble sleeping, are all normal responses.

B. Reach out to Friends. People understand a broken heart. Most of us have experienced it at sometime in our life.

C. Take time for yourself. Get a massage, haircut, manicure or whatever makes you feel pampered. Go to the gym, take a walk, go to the beach, the point is to focus on you.

D. When you are ready, assess the experience and process what you learned. This may take a few weeks or months. However no matter how bad or wonderful the relationship was, there were things to learn.

E. Accept or plan dates. Do not talk about your ex on the dates. Find out what your date has to offer and simply have a good time.

F. Remember, that healing is a process. It takes time to heal. A broken heart will get better and you will love and be loved again.

Jeannette York, LMFT