Recently,  Jennifer Rasmussen of the online magazine, “My Chic Life” asked me to be interviewed for an article that she was calling “Secret Crushes”. A secret crush can also be termed an emotional affair. This is a relationship that comes dangerously close to cheating but has not quite crossed the line. Often the partner that is having the emotional affair justifies it by telling themselves that since they have not had sex with their crush, then it is not actually cheating.

There are several ways to know if an emotional affair is harmless or if it is damaging your partnership or marriage. Some of the questions to ask yourself are,” Am I sharing intimate, private details of my marriage or relationship with this crush?” “Are there things that I am sharing with them, that I would not share with my partner?” “Do I think about the other person when I am with my partner?” “Am I omitting or hiding from my partner, the times that I have lunch, coffee or other encounters with this other person “Do I fantasize about having sex with this person?” If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship.

Often people turn to emotional affairs to avoid working on the issues in their relationships. Its easier to share with someone with whom there is only a false intimacy.

Below is a link to the article which I consulted on. It goes into more depth about the red flags of which to be aware.

Tend to the garden of your relationship, people are the real treasure in life.

Jeannette York, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Los Angeles, California

http://mychiclife.com/2013/07/25/5-signs-your-secret-crush-may-be-crushing-your-marriage/