* Make it emotionally safe to bring up difficult subjects.

* Don’t use affection, sex and loving behavior to reward or punish

*Dare to expose your imperfections and fears. This is especially difficult since it conflicts with the need for safety.

*Consider your partner’s desire for greater distance or closeness as expressing a need for comfort-not a personal rejection.

*Listen to each other with openness and curiosity.

* Remember you are on the same team!